16.2.23

Breakfast at Tune would have been great if it had been hot.  We gave our options yesterday, John went for traditional chicken, rice, noodles etc. I opted for the American with the hash browns.

It was buffet service, no hash browns but the sausages, scrambled egg and beans although luke warm were good.

We also had toast, with delicious marmalade and also kaya jam, I’d forgotten how tasty that is.

Finished packing and set off on the airport transfer, which was quick and simple. We had plenty of time to spare.

I have a great idea for the next season of Love Island :

Instead of picking their life partner on the basis of them ticking all their boxes, being their type on paper and being a good kisser, they have to navigate their way around a large airport, through the online check in process, print boarding passes and labels, peel off backing strip of label within 30 seconds without moaning, then go and scan their boarding passes at the bag drop.

The bags should be over weight and they then should have to repack without arguing and saying ‘don’t touch my stuff’.

They then have to close the case, but only close it by zipping up the expander, then pick up all the stuff that falls out and stuff it messily back in the case any old how.

They then have to lose their passport and terrify their partner.

If they’re really lucky they haven’t stuffed it in with the debris in their case which is now en route to the plane.

They then have to run back to where the issue occurred, pick it up off the floor and stroll back looking like they meant to do it.

The one who does this within the 2 hours left before boarding is the winner.

That should be mandatory before choosing your life partner.

We made our way along to L8 boarding gate.
Nerves jangled and not needing any more drama it was time to escape into trash tv, yep Love Island time, good strong internet allowed me to catch up. Their only dilemmas were who to snog next, ahh those were the days…

Boarding was straightforward, we were in different rows which was probably a good thing.

Somewhere there’s a computer system which mis matches seating companions. I’m highlighted on it in very bright yellow. Not in the middle this time, but a nice aisle seat.

Does anyone remember Jasper Carrot and his nutter on the bus story? Not p.c nowadays of course but very funny back in the day.

Anyway, before take off I was splattered up my arm with some kind of liquid and instinctively looked up, but it came from what looked like a wet wipe in the hand of the young lady next to me.
As the wet wipe unfolded it looked very odd and holey.
Applied with expertise to her face it was one of those scary looking face mask treatments
I’m so relieved that I saw it in progress, I’d have been terrified if it was already on her face when I took my seat.
She sat arms outstretched, palms upwards, mouth open and went straight to sleep. I’m going to try it on my next long flight.

It was a 3 hour flight and about half way through food and drinks arrived.
She removed the mask and after studying her face in her mirror ate her pack of buns.
I’m not sure what she was looking for but wish I’d taken before and after photos.

There was confusion over our lack of in flight meals. I definitely remember pontificating online about which to choose, John remembers too, but the flight attendant was adamant we hadn’t ordered anything.
I was ok, I still have a bag of snacks.
In the repacking fiasco John swapped his snacks for heavier hand luggage. Oh well, if he hadn’t refused to let me touch his stuff he’d have had his snacks too.

From my aisle seat I couldn’t see him behind me in his window seat to share my crisps so I ate the lot.

The next thing I knew my travel buddy was waking me to put my tray table away for landing.
Vietnam is 1 hour behind KL, so it was just 2pm by now.

The queue at passport control was very long and slow, baggage claimed and then we went outside by column 10 to meet our hotel driver.

Our first experience of Hanoi airport years ago was dreadful.
John had seen a price for airport taxis presumably from the 1930s.
We were accosted by relentless drivers but none prepared to take us for that price. John was unprepared to pay more and after a long stand off we had to pay the going rate.

To pre empt this I booked a driver.
He soon arrived, a lovely smiley man, how posh are we to have our names on a board like real people do.
It was about a 25 minute journey.

There’s been a lot of “progress’ since our last visit, high rise modern buildings, tower blocks of flats and a few very large hotels.
As we neared our hotel we went through the Old Quarter and I had a warm fuzzy feeling.
Hanoi in all it’s mad chaos. Wonderful.

Keypad Hotel, Hang Ga, check in was easy, lovely receptionist, our room is huge, clean and smells lovely.
The bathroom doesn’t smell so good, but it’s not mouldy or damp.
The first place we stayed in Vietnam years ago was in Hanoi. Mouldy black ceiling is our main memory so we are not doing cheapest Brett Class in Hanoi again.

Our first challenge was getting some cash at bank machine 1.
The 2nd bank machine was also saying no, but an American couple at bank 3 had no problem. Good.
This one also said no. Must be the Turkish cards. John tried with a UK card. Still no.

A Vietnamese man had pulled up on his scooter by now, watching, waiting to rob us. We told him it wasn’t working but he came out of the glass booth with cash.
He very kindly showed us how to do it.
Select what you want to do and insert card when prompted. Yayyy we have cash.

We went off for a wander, first stop was for bun cha, a barbecued pork dish I tried in Hanoi before and loved but never found again for the rest of our trip, so I was determined to make the most of it.
It’s everywhere around here.We picked the first place we saw it.

It’s true when they say go where it’s busy. No one else here and although tasty it wasn’t what I remembered.
One sign said 30k, one said 35k, I paid with a 200k note and got 100k back. Cheeky, but added entertainment when the guy slipped over and dropped lettuce everywhere.

100,000 Vietnamese Dong is £3.50.
I’m going to use the K button as ‘1000’ to save wearing the 0 out on my keyboard.

After a short while I realised I couldn’t stop smiling.
Excited? Yes.

One of the biggest changes from before is the amount of little pedigree dogs in cute coats running about without leads. The traffic is mad but they seem smart enough not to go in the road. Our favourite though was a fat Golden Lab, chained to a padlock in the ground by what looks like a closed down shop. Absolutely mad friendly. Had to clean my trousers of all the paw marks later.

The other noticeable thing is how few white travellers there are compared to last time. Only saw 3 others in the passport queue.
I read that tourism is 70% down, but this is mainly the lack of Chinese visitors who account for 56% usually.

Sensory overload, food stalls with tiny plastic chairs, shops selling tacky what look like Christmas / New Year decorations, pavement barbers with mirrors attached to trees and scooters coming at you from every angle.

There are a lot of more modern eateries and posh coffee shops now, but they’ve still kept the tradition of teeny chairs, just not the basic plastic ones, but posh black ones, some are like mini fold out garden chairs.

Traditionally it was an area that made clothes, so still loads of shops selling every ribbon, fabric, buttons etc you could imagine.

We’re staying just on the edge of the Old Quarter, saving that for tomorrow, along with the lake area and I want to go to Train Street.
John swears we went before, I swear I’d remember it. I can’t bear it if he’s right. I’ll never hear the end of it!

We stopped for drinks, omg, that first sip of iced Vietnamese coffee, lush, and John’s pineapple smoothie was amazing.

It’s definitely good to be back.